Have kids they said, it’ll be a breeze they said, they practically raise themselves, they said. Now your adorable little bundle of joy is here, they are growing up and reality hits- There is no manual, no order, and they’re all yours to make or break. Can we all just admit that this is more than a little terrifying? 
Parenting is one of the most challenging journeys that a human could embark on. The responsibility rests on parents to ensure that their progeny become bright, independent, emotionally mature and successful members of society. But within that, how do parents make sure that their children are loved but not pampered, kind, but not naive, allowed creative freedom but not overindulged, confident in their beliefs, but not dismissive and disrespectful of others’ and open minded but not so open minded that their brains fall out?
What about the million and one little things? Like how to make sure children eat their vegetables, do their homework, brush their teeth before going to bed at night and follow your rules about screen time and sugar regulation without tantrums or rebellion? – The not so little things? like when to have the birds and the bees conversation, how to educate them about diversity and money and how much to push them into careers or leadership roles.
From the moment of your awareness of their existence, your mind runs wild with questions – does music on your belly really improve baby’s cognitive development in utero? Is one glass of wine every few days really okay when you are pregnant? Does an epidural have any negative side effects on your new born? What colours should their room be to maximize neurodevelopment? What really happens to their growth if you can’t breastfeed? And does letting babies self-soothe have any long term psychological benefits or detriments?
This endless stream and its accompanying anxiety can leave you second guessing yourself at every turn. And in times of uncertainty, we turn to what we know – what we’ve lived. Unfortunately, we do not always have control over what we consider comfortable. The sources of our attitudes and choices are often unknown, hence we may be completely unaware of how vulnerable we are to either drawing from and repeating the mistakes we watched our parents make, or pushing ourselves so hard to avoid these patterns that we end up on the polar end of the values we were raised with. In the end, both parents and children could end up worn out, scarred and resentful.
This blog doesn’t promise to make the process of raising children easy or provide answers to the endless array of questions. What we hope to do is help parents navigate their relationships with themselves and their children a little better in order to avoid common pitfalls. As a psychology and Neuropsychology clinic that has been running successfully for 13 years, Mobile Health Consult is in a unique position to provide much needed psychological perspective because as evidence shows, genetic make-up, parenting style and exposure to stressors interact complexly to trigger clinical and subclinical levels of symptoms of psychological and psychiatric disorders. The broad field of psychology seeks not only to understand the processes within the mind, but also how minds of different ages work and interact with one another. An understanding of the optimal psychological environment for a stable and happy child will go a long way to easing the uncertainty that comes with parenting.
For more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, call us on 09076728623 or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk
