Category: Affection

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion”- Dalai Lama

Showing kindness not only to family members and friends but also to strangers is a sure way to enjoy your holiday. Sometimes to make the holiday truly memorable, you will need to do something different from what you’ve done in your past holidays.

Love is better expressed when it is directed at those who do not expect it from you.

Showing love to a spouse, sibling, friend or family member is a common act but then how often do we think about those who are not in any way related to us? How often do we show love to those in need? How often do we reach out to the old, the less privileged, the physically/ mentally challenged, the widowed and even those random individuals we see on the streets?

Do you really want to make this holiday worthwhile?

Then make an effort to meet a need in someone’s life this season

To achieve this, here is a very practical 10- Day plan to reach out to others!

DAY 1:

Make Three People Smile Today

Saying a word of affirmation can help you achieve this. Say things like “you are beautiful/ handsome”, “I love your smile” or “that’s a lovely dress/shirt you have on”. You can also achieve this by giving out a small note with a word of encouragement written on it.

DAY 2:

Buy a gift for a stranger

This act seems a little weird but it is an amazing way to surprise someone this holiday and spice up your holiday as well.

DAY 3:

Give out your good old clothes and other items to someone who needs them

Many of us form the habit of disposing our old stuffs when we no longer need them ignoring the fact that there are some people who cannot afford these items. This season, instead of discarding your good old stuffs, give it to someone who needs it. You’ll be glad you did.

DAY 4:

Help make the environment beautiful

Today, take out time to beautify the environment. Resolve not to litter the environment, take an extra step to clean up your surroundings, plant some flowers, decorate the environment etc. You never can tell how much the beauty of the environment would lighten someone’s heart.

DAY 5:

Spend time with an elderly person today!

Look out for an elderly person in your environment and spend time with him/her. You can also help out with some house chores like taking out the trash, helping out with laundry, cooking a meal, mowing the lawn or you can even tell them a story.

DAY 6:

Be the reason a Child is happy today

The smile you leave on a child’s face today might just be what you need to make your holiday a memorable one this season. Pause and think! Device a means to make a child happy today and see how that makes you feel.

DAY 7:

Visit the Orphanage

Visit the orphanage today. You may need to buy some gift items for the orphans if you wish to. You can also decide to engage them in fun stuffs like teaching them new songs, telling them stories, playing games and acting.

DAY 8:

Reach out to the sick

Your encouragement would go a long way in the recovery process of a sick person today. Visit a hospital and give words of encouragement to the sick!

DAY 9:

Show concern for someone who is despondent

Try to encourage someone who is down. Use both words and actions. Don’t just be sympathetic but as much as possible try to plant hope in the person.

DAY 10:

Be Nice

Be nice to everyone you meet today. Be polite- say please, excuse me, thank you, and I’m sorry as many times as possible. Be quick to forgive those who offend you and also quick to apologize to those you’ve wronged.

For more insightful updates on #TouchaHeartThisHoliday follow me on twitter @drmorayoJimoh

 Tayo, an only child baby-sitted by Granny, wakes up to prepare for school, only to find mum and dad have left for work as usual.  Granny explains: Mum has to be at the Bank and Dad has to be at the construction site. He tries to stay awake to catch a glimpse of his parents before dozing off at night, but his eyes are too full of sleep. Looking forward to every weekend, he hopes Dad can take him to the cinema, only to find out from Mum that Dad had to travel on an official trip again. Mum is usually busy attending social functions at weekends, never having time for him. To make up for this, his mum and dad buy him the latest toys and gadgets to make him happy.

“Your children need your presence more than your presents”
– Jesse Jackson

One love language children understand is Quality time. Oh yes, they love the gifts and may go the extra mile to earn one every now and then but most importantly, children desire and need the love and presence of their parents. They want their parents to help them out and supervise their homework. They want to chat about what happened in school with their mum. They want Dad to take them out to the park. They want so much more than the gifts. I can hear someone think “They always want, can they ever stop wanting?” The truth is parenting is the greatest investment. You can invest in stocks, real estate, land etc, but investing in your children yields the greatest returns in life.

It is becoming more difficult to juggle work and family but quite possible when priorities are set. Sadly, many parents have “lost” their children in a bid to earn more and stay competitive. Children who are not under adult supervision and lack parent figures often associate with the wrong people and make misguided decisions.

Here are 10 tips on spending quality time and enhancing your relationship with your kids

• Make yourself emotionally accessible and available for your child.
• Supervise their homework as often as possible.
• Set aside a time each week for a special outing with your kids.
• Help them with their school projects.
• Saturday mornings are excellent times to play games or engage in sports/exercise with your family.
• Regularly attend Parents- Teacher’s Association (PTA) meetings.
• Visit your child’s school during open or visiting days.
• Ensure you have regular contact with your child’s class teacher.
• Discuss with your child about his/her interests and aspirations.
• Endeavor to check through your child’s note book to monitor his/her academic progress.
• As often as you can, teach your children moral lessons as you have learned yourself while growing up.

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege,

 than the raising of the next generation
– C. Everett Koop

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today!

In your hands lie the power to shape the outcome of your child. Choose to be a “presence-parent“ rather than a “presents-parent”.  Give your attention and time to your children and you will reap the rewards soon enough!

Join the conversation and get interesting tips on parenting by following @DrMorayoJimoh #parenting. You will be glad you did. Share this with someone.

“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children,

but we can at least prepare our children for the future”. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

If you are you a parent or plan to become one someday, you will definitely want the best for your child. The question is, how much are you willing to invest in order to see your child become the “best”? – Take a moment to think deeply about this.

A lot of people believe that their parents were strict with them while growing up and vowed to treat their own children better but may be shocked to realize that they may do same or worse in raising their own children. Some others, on the other hand, are thankful to their parents for the parenting style that was adopted in raising them.

Parenting is a huge responsibility which should also be seen as an adventure.

Here are 4 different parenting styles: The first three was classified by Diana Baumrind (1967) while the fourth style was by Maccoby and Martin (1983).

Authoritarian Parenting Style:

Refers to an extremely harsh or strict method of parenting where the children don’t have a say in the home and cannot express themselves but are rather expected to follow the stated rules and regulations. A loving parent-child relationship is non-existent here. This style of parenting will in turn produce children with: low self-esteem, anger problems, anxiety, depression, they may tend to be socially withdrawn, they may conform easily and be fearful.

 Authoritative Parenting Style: 

This is a more balanced method of parenting with proper parent-child relationship. The parents are firm with the children in a loving and understanding manner as they seek to build a sense of responsibility and independence in their children. Children from such parents will become independent individuals, disciplined, social, they will tend to have good interpersonal relationship skills and are usually emotionally stable.

Permissive Parenting Style: 

Here, anything goes as the parents “allow” any behaviour the children may exhibit as long as the children are happy because they genuinely care about the children but are somewhat excessively non-restrictive or relaxed about controlling the behaviour of the children. In this method, parents may have to bribe or give special treats to their children before they can get them to do what is expected of them. Children with such upbringing will eventually become demanding, spoilt, aggressive, always wanting to get their way and lack self-discipline/ self-control.

 Uninvolved Parenting Style:

In this style, the parent neglects the child and is often detached from the child emotionally and in some cases otherwise. Love and affection is not being expressed to the child by the parent as it ought to be. The parent sees his/her sole responsibility as providing only basic needs such as food and shelter for the child and expects the child to take care him/herself afterwards. This style of parenting will produce children that will tend to feel lonely, have low self-esteem/self worth, may become drug/alcohol addicts and antisocial.

Which of these styles do you think best describes your parents’ method of raising you?

Could it be the authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or the uninvolved parenting style?

What influence do you think their style of parenting has had or is having on you as an adult?

Comment below on your experience. Kindly follow @DrMorayoJimoh for more mind blowing updates on parenting and child development throughout the month of March.

“If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world”.

– Dorothy Law Neite