“If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be lonely” –Maxwell Maltz
Strap your seat belt as we take a journey into ourselves but first, what really comes to mind when asked the common question; “who are you? ” or “tell me about yourself”
Can you tell who you really are?
Do you know yourself well enough?
Do you know for certain what you are capable of doing?
Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?
As relational beings, we are constantly relating with others in our lives. We have family, friends and others in our society constantly demanding for our attention. The relationship with others in our lives is necessary but what is more important is our relationship with ourselves i.e our intrapersonal relationship. People often go to great lengths to gain skills that will enable them relate better with others in their lives with little emphasis being placed on how well they relate with their own selves.
Let’s make this a bit more practical, take it a challenge; choose a day or maybe one hour to be by yourself. No other person around, no calls, no chats just you…. Then see how well you thrive when you are not in the company of others.
If all you get is boredom, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, suicidal thoughts, feeling of worthlessness, fear and all such negative feelings, then something is not right with the quality of your intrapersonal relationship. Some are fantastic when it comes to relating with others and may often avoid being alone for the shortest possible time, they rather thrive well in the company of others. Such people are quick to judge themselves as friendly… but the truth is that they may actually not be friends with their own selves and often have problems in their relationship with others as well. Some others find that they are unable to enjoy their own company and the company of others as well. The third set of people find that they may enjoy their own company and have issues relating with others outside themselves…
It is important to note that none of these three extremes is encouraged but rather, there should be a balance wherein we can have a healthy intrapersonal relationship as well as healthy interpersonal relationships.
The quality of your intrapersonal relationship determines the quality of your interpersonal relationship
When you improve on your intrapersonal relationship, your interpersonal relationships get even better and more fulfilling.
Here are some amazing ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself
- Know yourself: knowing yourself is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with yourself. You may think you know yourself well enough but you still need to do a deeper study of yourself. You’ll notice that some things change as you age while some don’t. Also, know your strengths and weakness, know what to avoid and what to delve into, be sincere with yourself, for example, if you cannot handle harsh criticisms don’t go looking for it. Know what makes you happy and go for it!
- Practice Mindfulness meditation: being mindful is simply learning to gain awareness of the present moment, your present thoughts and feelings. Most of time we are unaware of these bodily functions. If you were told to describe how you feel right now what will it be? Stressed?, sad?, uneasy?, relaxed?, happy?, angry?, loved?, unwanted? Or fulfilled?. Now let’s have a quick mindfulness practice, notice when you breathe in and out…. Then take the “in breath” slow……………..ly and the “out breath” slow………………ly also. Do this for about 2 minutes at different times today and every single day. That’s the beginning of being mindful! For more information about mindfulness, kindly visit mobilehealthconsult.org
- Be yourself: you are the only YOU in the entire galaxy! So enjoy being you. You may feel that your weaknesses far outweighs your strengths. Well, look inside you once again and search deep within you. If you are sincere with yourself well enough to know your weaknesses, then the fact that you can bring it to the level of your consciousness means it is 50% resolved!. Be yourself through your journey to become better every day!
Don’t let anyone or societal standards make you feel any less of yourself. Enjoy being you, enjoy your own company, communicate with yourself and have a bank of happy memories about yourself and your achievements. Remember, the better the quality of your intrapersonal relationship, the more fulfilling your interpersonal relationships will be.
Don’t forget to be your own friend and follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more amazing updates on #Intrapersonalrelationship.