Mobile Health Consult
  • Home
  • About Us
    • Our Team
    • Contact Us
    • Amb.(Dr.) Morayo Jimoh, CPsychol (WMGA)
    • Clientele
  • Clinics & Services
        • ADHD/ADD Clinic
          • ADHD/ADD CLINIC FOR CHILDREN
          • ADD/ADHD CLINIC FOR ADULTS
        • PSYCHOLOGY CLINIC
          • ASSESSMENTS
          • TREATMENT
        • CORPORATE SERVICES
        • OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY CLINIC
        • PSYCHOLOGICAL FIRST AID
        • NEUROFEEDBACK CLINIC
        • MHC SCHOOL SERVICES
        • SPEECH THERAPY CLINIC
  • Articles
  • Gallery
  • Events
  • Resources
    • Careers
    • Downloads
    • Suggested Reading
149852
12Sep, 2024

GENTLE PARENTING: NURTURING WITH EMPATHY AND RESPECT

by Mobile Health Consult

Consider this common situation: Your toddler is in full meltdown mode at the supermarket, face red, fists clenched, wailing at a pitch that could shatter glass. Do you: A) Scold them sternly, B) Offer them candy to quiet down, or C) Take a deep breath and try to understand their frustration? If you chose C, you might be leaning towards a parenting style that’s been gaining more traction lately – gentle parenting.

Gentle parenting is an approach that emphasizes empathy, respect, and understanding in parent-child relationships, and boundaries. It’s not about being permissive or letting children run wild; rather, it’s about guiding children with compassion and fostering their emotional intelligence. It’s about trying to see the world through your child’s eyes, even when those eyes are squeezed shut in a tantrum. It’s respecting your little ones as whole people, not just mini-mes to be molded. It’s seeking to understand the ‘why’ behind behaviours, rather than just reacting to the ‘what’.

In practice, gentle parenting might look like this: Instead of yelling at a child for having a tantrum, a parent might say, “I see you’re feeling frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way, but it’s not okay to throw things. Let’s take some deep breaths together and find a better way to handle this.” This approach doesn’t mean letting children do whatever they want. Boundaries and rules still exist, but they’re explained and enforced in a way that respects the child’s emotions and fosters their understanding.

Proponents of gentle parenting argue that it helps children develop emotional regulation skills, boosts their self-esteem, and creates stronger, more positive relationships between parents and children. They believe that by modeling empathy and respect, children learn to treat others the same way.  It’s like planting seeds of kindness and watching them grow.

However, every rose has its thorns, and gentle parenting is no exception. Children, especially young ones, don’t always respond to reason or gentle explanation. During tantrums or intense emotional outbursts, a child may not be in a state to listen or cooperate. In these moments, firmer action might be necessary to enforce rules and ensure safety. Without clear consequences, some children might interpret gentle parenting as a lack of firm boundaries, potentially leading to behaviour issues. Constantly maintaining patience and empathy can be emotionally exhausting for parents, especially in high-stress situations.

There is also worry that always cushioning a child’s experiences might not adequately prepare them for the harsher realities of the adult world. It can also be difficult to maintain a gentle approach consistently, especially when parents are tired, stressed, or facing their own emotional challenges.

Effective parenting often involves blending gentle techniques with firm guidance to help children thrive and develop into responsible, empathetic adults. The key is to maintain the connection with your child even while enforcing rules. This approach can help children develop emotional intelligence, respect for boundaries, and trust in their parents’ consistency.

While gentle parenting offers valuable insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, it’s important to recognize that raising well-grounded children with a genuine sense of humanity and values requires a balanced approach that incorporates both empathy and appropriate authority.  There will be times when parents need to enforce rules firmly, even if the child is upset at the moment. As one parent put it, “They might not love you then, but they would grow to appreciate the lessons learned.”

For more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, reach us at 09076728623, or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk

5Sep, 2024

AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING

by Mobile Health Consult

Picture a sleek, high-end SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle) cruising down a city street, turning heads with its sophisticated design. Imagine that same vehicle easily transitioning to a family road trip, comfortably accommodating children, luggage, and even sports equipment. This versatility of SUVs mirrors the essence of authoritative parenting. Just as these vehicles balance class with practicality, authoritative parenting strikes a crucial equilibrium between setting clear boundaries and showing warmth. It’s a parenting style that can navigate the smooth roads of everyday life and the challenging terrains of child-rearing with equal competence.

As an SUV combines power with precision handling, authoritative parenting balances firm discipline with thoughtful explanation. Picture the parent as the driver, confidently steering the family vehicle through life’s journey. They set clear rules – like speed limits on a highway – but also explain the reasons behind these rules, much like how a GPS provides both directions and traffic information. This parenting style shows firmness in maintaining boundaries, similar to how an SUV’s sturdy frame provides safety, yet it also offers flexibility – like adjustable seats that accommodate growth. Authoritative parents give their children some wiggle room to make age-appropriate decisions, comparable to letting a young driver practice in a parking lot before hitting the open road. They are responsive to their children’s needs and emotions like modern SUVs adapt to different driving conditions. Importantly, authoritative parenting fosters open communication, creating an environment where children feel heard and valued, akin to a family discussing the route and stops on a road trip. 

As children grow, the authoritative style adapts, much like how an SUV’s features can be adjusted for different stages of family life. This flexibility helps maintain a healthy parent-child relationship through various developmental stages, from toddlerhood through adolescence and beyond. Children raised under the authoritative parenting style tend to develop into confident and capable individuals, much like how a reliable vehicle performs well over time. They often exhibit higher self-esteem and better emotional regulation, comparable to an SUV’s ability to handle various terrains with ease. Academically, these children frequently excel, similar to how a versatile vehicle can navigate both city streets and off-road paths effortlessly.

The parent-child relationship in authoritative households is typically strong and positive, like the smooth ride an SUV provides on a family trip. There’s a sense of trust and open communication, akin to the clear visibility from an SUV’s elevated driving position. Children feel secure in expressing their thoughts and feelings, much like passengers feel safe in a well-equipped vehicle. This parenting approach fosters independence while maintaining a supportive environment, similar to how an SUV offers both the freedom to explore and the security of advanced safety features.

Remember, just as no two road trips are exactly alike, every family’s parenting journey will have unique twists and turns. Authoritative parenting isn’t about perfect navigation, but rather about having the right vehicle to handle whatever comes your way. It equips both parents and children with the tools they need to face challenges, celebrate successes, and grow together.

As you continue on your parenting route, consider the authoritative style as your reliable family SUV – sturdy enough to provide security, flexible enough to adapt to changing needs, and designed to foster a journey of growth, respect, and mutual understanding. With this approach, you’re well-prepared to navigate the exciting road of parenthood, creating memories and bonds that will last a lifetime.

For more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, reach us at 09076728623, or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk

22Aug, 2024

PERMISSIVE PARENTING

by Mobile Health Consult

Would you like to guess where this idea began? Yes. Freud again. It’s no wonder he remains the most prominent name in psychology, his work is everywhere. With his theories on child development (1890s), he popularized the notion that childhood experiences stick like glue, shaping children into the adults they are bound to become, inspiring parents to become more aware and mindful of their children’s needs and emotions. 

The next burst of popularity was in 1946 when pediatrician Benjamin Spock wrote one of the best-selling books in history (it shall remain unnamed – the good doctor eventually found himself rethinking a lot of his initial advice). This book, which revolutionized parenting in the 20th century, encouraged parents to prioritize being more lenient and understanding and focus less on strict rules and behavioral compliance typical of more traditional parenting styles. He later came to redefine his ideas, acknowledging the place of structure and discipline in raising children. 

Tracing the roots of permissive parenting gives us insight into how this approach emerged as a response to more traditional, authoritarian styles. But what exactly does permissive parenting entail, and how has it come to influence modern parenting practices? 

In the control vs. warmth and responsiveness tug of war, the undefeated champion on the permissive parenting field is… drum roll please … warmth and responsiveness.   

For parents who favour this style, the goal is to shower their children with all the affection and attention they can muster, and they do muster a great deal of it. The way they do this is by avoiding any kind of conflict and indulging their little angels’ every wish. This parenting style throws boundaries and structures out the window. It relies instead on what I call the ‘Comfort Reflex.’ This is the instinct that kicks in for parents of newborns, making it almost impossible for them to hear their baby cry without immediately trying to soothe and comfort them. It is a natural and powerful urge to ensure a baby’s happiness and peace, leading to an approach that prioritizes immediate comfort. As newborns grow into toddlers, most parents outgrow the comfort reflex to a degree that allows them to think beyond immediate gratification. However, this is not always the case. 

Sometimes, parents get stuck in the comfort reflex, this could be deliberate –believing it inspires a superior child-raising method, or unintentional – they might be unable to withstand the emotional discomfort that their child’s unhappiness evokes, making it challenging for them to establish necessary boundaries. 

Regardless of how they adopt a permissive approach, parents using this style have several positives to highlight. The high level of warmth and responsiveness between parent and child affords them a strong, positive emotional connection that is nurtured by intentionality and good communication. In addition, trust and freedom of choice awards creativity and independent thinking. Put together, this is a recipe for parent-child friendship, high self-esteem, confidence, innovation, effective communication skills, and a stress-free home environment.

While the sugar and hugs of this style generally make for a happy childhood, it presents individuals with much unpleasantness later in life. Settle in, this is going to be a long list- poor understanding of limits and expectations, lack of self-discipline and self-control, poor academic achievement, high sense of entitlement, conflicts with authority figures and the law, challenges in various social environments, including school, the workplace, and community settings, difficulties navigating interpersonal relationships, finally, suboptimal physical health and personal hygiene.

Warmth and responsiveness are certainly important and encouraged, but they need to be balanced with control to provide stability and avoid potential pitfalls. After all, too much sugar will cause a toothache. So parents, balance in all things. On this note, I bid you adieu.

For more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, call us on 09076728623, or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk

15Aug, 2024

NEGLECTFUL PARENTING

by Mobile Health Consult

Imagine a garden where the plants are left to fend for themselves—no watering, pruning, or care whatsoever. The gardener is there, living in the house nearby, but rarely sets foot in the garden. This is the world of neglectful parenting, also known as uninvolved parenting. It’s like having a caretaker who’s forgotten what they should be taking care of. Picture this: Little Timmy comes home with a report card full of F’s. Most parents would react with concern, maybe even a touch of panic. But neglectful parents? They might glance up from their phones long enough to say, “Oh, that’s nice, dear,” before returning to their riveting social media scroll.

At its core, uninvolved parenting is about indifference. Parents may be physically present but emotionally on another planet, preoccupied with their own lives to the detriment of their child’s needs. While factors like work commitments or personal challenges can contribute to this style, it’s important to distinguish between temporary lapses in involvement and a consistent pattern of neglect.

The consequences of uninvolved parenting can be profound. Children of neglectful parents often struggle with low self-esteem because nothing says “You’re important” like being consistently ignored. They may have poor academic performance and behavioral problems. When nobody’s watching, why not see how far you can push the boundaries? These children often have difficulty forming relationships because they’ve learned that relationships are unreliable. There’s also an increased risk of substance abuse, as filling that emotional void with healthier alternatives isn’t always the first choice. When their basic needs of connection and attention are unmet, they may develop feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and a deep-seated belief that they are unimportant. 

Parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, being involved, and occasionally embarrassing your kids with your jokes or dance moves. To move from neglectful to mindful, start small. Begin with just 10 minutes of undivided attention daily. No phones, no TV, just good old-fashioned human interaction. Show interest by asking about their day, their friends, their hopes, and their fears. And actually, listen to the answers!

Kids need structure like plants need water, so start implementing some basic rules and consequences. Be present by attending school events, watching their games, or just being in the same room without a screen between you. 

Neglectful parenting is like using a sieve to carry water – it might look like parenting, but it’s not really holding anything. But with awareness and effort, it’s possible to patch those holes and create a nurturing environment. After all, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second-best time is now. The same goes for good parenting – it’s never too late to start!

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to contact a therapist or parenting support group. It’s okay to admit you need guidance. Mobile Health Consult is in a unique position to provide much-needed psychological perspective, for more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, reach us at 09076728623, or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk

1Aug, 2024

AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING

by Mobile Health Consult

Consider this short story:

“But I only wanted to—” Seun screamed through tears, as her mother cut her off.

“One more word out of you and I will beat you again. Come on, go to your room and kneel there.”

Her mother, Tinuke, went on to vent to her husband. “She’s so impulsive and disobedient. All I do is try to protect her from the consequences of her thoughtlessness. What am I supposed to do? Continue flogging her every blessed day and forcing her to do the things she should? I’m tired, David. I’ve had enough.” She began to sob.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he hugged her tightly, “everything is going to be okay.”

“But how?” Tinuke wailed.

“Let’s talk to Ufuoma tomorrow,” he said. “He’s becoming quite the specialist with ‘troubled youth,'” he air-quoted and made a funny face that got a weak chuckle out of his wife. It wasn’t much, but he was satisfied.

“Maybe you guys need to loosen up a little,” Ufuoma said the next day at dinner. “I think you give her too many rules and boundaries. There’s too little wiggle room to express herself; no wonder she explodes like this.”

“You want us to spoil her?” Tinuke interjected. “Children need boundaries. I will not apologize for raising her to be disciplined.”

“Disciplined?” Ufuoma gasped. “No, Tinuke, this is way beyond that, and you know it. You are trying to control everything in her life with no regard for what she wants.”

“She’s a child,” her mother said, sounding exasperated. “She wants nothing that is good for her.”

“She is 11 years old,” replied Ufuoma. “She’s old enough for some autonomy. Look, I’m not saying you should let her do whatever she wants all the time. I’m saying listen to her, include her in decisions that involve her, and let her feel like her opinion matters to you. Just look at her schedule,” he continued. “She wakes up to exercise at 5:30 every morning before going to school and on the weekends too; aren’t you overdoing it?”

“No,” David said sternly, “she’s almost overweight.”

“She’s chubby at worst,” replied Ufuoma, “and you are killing her with all these extracurricular activities,” he scolded. “Music, Girl Scouts, robotics, debate club, swimming, and which one is rock climbing? You know she hates heights.”

“How else will she get over that fear?” Tinuke argued.

“My point is, you chose all this without asking her what she would like to do.”

“Ehen,” said her mother, “we know better.”

“Okay then, let me ask you this: how do you expect her to be able to make decisions for herself in the future, or know who she is or what she needs? You won’t even let her pick her friends, choose her hobbies, or what cartoons to watch.”

They stared at him, dismayed.

“What?” He continued. “Don’t look at me like that; I’m her favorite uncle, she tells me everything. You guys are putting her under so much pressure. Sure, she’s a straight-A student and has more skills than I can count, but she’s a mess! Right now, she is whoever you force her to be. She will be lost without you dictating her every step. You won’t let her think for herself or develop a sense of right and wrong. If she doesn’t start to learn how to be her own person now, when will she?

“Continue like this and watch what research says come to life. She will become dependent on others for her sense of self, with overwhelming anxiety and a need to be perfect, and I wouldn’t blame her,” he continued breathlessly as he spoke faster, “when her parents do not tolerate shortcomings. You are teaching her that perfection in all things is the only way to get approval and love. Think of how she will struggle to connect with others because you won’t let her learn how to express herself; you are giving her the impression that her opinions, even on her own life, are not valid. And let’s not even talk of the rebellion to come. In the name of discipline, the only relationship you have with her is one where you order, and she obeys. She fears you.”

“You say she’s a child; let her play and goof around, let her have a childhood. If I have to sacrifice a carefree childhood for a bright future, then so be it,” her mother said.

“Enough, guys,” David said, finally deciding to put a stop to things. “This is not going anywhere.”

“Why did you ask me for advice if you are just going to shoot down everything I say?” her uncle said, ignoring his brother.

“Ufuoma,” David said his name with a sense of finality, “I said it’s enough. Let us eat before the food gets cold.”

They ate in silence.

Characteristics of Authoritarian Parents:
1. They show love by focusing on ensuring their children’s success in life.
2. They prioritize hard work, respect, and obedience.
3. They are discipline-oriented.
4. They rarely express warmth.
5. They rarely listen to their children.

18Jul, 2024

How to Parent: Is there one way?

by Mobile Health Consult

How to Parent: Is there one way?

Across diverse cultures, decades of investigation, and hundreds of studies, psychologists have identified four main patterns in how people parent their children.  It is amazing how Nigerians cannot conclusively agree on a definition of good food. For example, some people find it unacceptable to prepare pounded yam with any method other than the traditional mortar and pestle. In contrast, others swear by modern pounding machines, asserting that they do not compromise the flavor and texture of the delicacy. Yet, on matters of parenting, the whole world seems to agree.

Regardless of where we come from and what we’ve lived through, when raising children, we are all confined to the dimensions of control and warmth/responsiveness – in lack or excess. I mean the struggle is always going to be between discipline, firmness, use of authority, and sensitivity and responsiveness to the child’s perspective and feelings. This leaves parents with two points of focus, having ‘proper’ children, or having a meaningful relationship with their children. As it stands, having both is akin to a fairytale, and most parents end up unintentionally (or otherwise) valuing one and sacrificing the other.

Four combinations of push and pull between these forces give us four ways of raising children. One or more of these come naturally to most parents: Authoritarian parenting, Authoritative parenting, Indulgent-Permissive parenting, and Indifferent-Uninvolved/Neglectful parenting. Each of the aforementioned parenting styles certainly has major advantages and disadvantages. However, it is important to note and remember that each parent can use different parenting styles in different situations, at different times, and with different children. This is dependent on both the personalities of the parent and child, the mood, and the gravity of the situation.

At the end of the day, it is not really about a debate between the four parenting styles. What matters most is that parents can adapt their methods when needed and provide balance and predictability to give their children a stable foundation to grow.

Stay tuned as we explore the different styles of parenting studied by psychologists, their long-term effects, and how they impact parent-child dynamics.

For more information on our psychological and neuropsychological services, visit our website, mobilehealthconsult.org, reach us at 09076728623, or send us an email at mobilehealthconsult2000@yahoo.co.uk

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • …
  • 29
  • right-arrow

Date Posts

June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« Sep    

Tags

Anxiety and Somatic Symptom Disorders Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Autism Spectrum Disorder Conduct Disorder Depressive Disorder Disruptive Mood Deregulation Disorder Executive Function Disorder (EFD) Gender Dysphoria Intellectual Disability Neurocognitive Disorder Personality Disorders Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Sleep-Wake Disorders Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder Substance-Related and Addictive Disorders

Recent Posts

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STATUS: POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STATUS: POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?

October 13, 2018
PRESERVING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING THE PANDEMIC PERIOD

PRESERVING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING THE PANDEMIC PERIOD

August 7, 2020

Archives

  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • February 2021
  • August 2020
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • August 2013

Newsletter

To receive email releases, simply provide us
with your email address below.

    black-envelope

    Blog Posts

    YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STATUS: POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?
    YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STATUS: POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?

    October 13, 2018

    PRESERVING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING THE PANDEMIC PERIOD
    PRESERVING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING THE PANDEMIC PERIOD

    August 7, 2020

    Our Contacts

    • placeholder-for-map-1Block 128B, Plot 8 Remi Olowude Street, 2nd Roundabout, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos, Nigeria
      placeholder-for-map-1Get directions on the mapright-arrow
    • telephone-1+234 (1) 453 4024, 0803 345 1351
      (24/7 General inquiry)
    • black-envelopeinfo@mobilehealthconsult.org
    up-arrow-1