Stress isn’t reserved for adults alone, Children also go through it. School demands from various subjects, peer demands and trying to fit in, listening to the news and viewing disturbing images and stories, listening to worries concerning the job of parents, separation anxiety, death of a parent,  illness of loved relative, family routines, changing schools, quitting bedwetting… The list goes endless.

Stress occurs because of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them. These demands often could come from outside sources (such as school, friends, and family) or from within, often related to what we think we should be doing versus what we’re actually able to do (e.g. making A’s in numeracy rather than C’s) These demands may be overwhelming to children.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

• Trouble concentrating on school work. Complaining more than usual about school. Lack of motivation to do school work and take home assignments. This often results in poor school performance.
• Changes in eating and sleeping behavior. This may include over eating/sleeping or not eating/sleeping well enough.
• Constant complains about headaches, stomach aches, chest aches without other medical causes. They also sometimes tend to use self-derogatory words e.g., “nobody likes me’’
• Nightmares; Sleep related fear is often regular in children expressing stress.
• Bedwetting; As a result of experienced stress, they may find it difficult to recognize toilet/pee signals.
• Emotional Tantrums; They may tend to be more aggressive, cry too much, react stubbornly to parents, mood swings as a result of constant worry to please parents/teachers and coaches.
• Changes in Social Interaction; Kids experiencing stress may isolate themselves from their peers/ friends. They may also avoid contact with their parents thus, choosing to be by themselves always. They also would withdraw from activities that formerly gave them joy. Clinging to a parent or teacher is also an observed behavioural characteristics of children experiencing stress.

       How then can children perform at their optimum level? How can they have unadulterated concentration, focus in school and be the best they can be without feeling stressed or undergoing pain as a result of being stressed?

THE ANSWER IS MINDFULNESS!

Mindfulness is the practice of focusing your attention in the present moment. Accepting the present without being judgmental about it. When you are engaged in mindfulness, you can observe your thoughts and feelings objectively without self-blame or persecution.

BENEFITS OF MINDFULNESS.

      Increased ability to cope with stressful situations.

      Improved attention and focus, thus leading to peak academic performance.

      Improved resilience.

      Higher self-esteem.

      Better ability to regulate one-self.

      Improved mood

TIPS ON MINFULNESS FOR CHILDREN

1. A quiet room would be needed. A serene and natural environment if possible.
2. There should be a particular scheduled time every day for mindfulness meditation.
3. Few Children per facilitator. A crowded place may not be an ideal environment for mindfulness. Noise of various degrees which may seem impossible to stop might also arise. Thus, defeating the objectives of the mindfulness exercise.
4. Time management. In order to achieve peak focus without pee breaks, it should be scheduled for a short period of time. Between 10-20 minutes.

For information on how to carry out mindfulness meditation, visit www.mobilehealthconsult.org/smartmind

“Father forgive them, for they know no what they do”. This is a quote from the Bible spoken by Jesus Christ to those who had just tortured and nailed him onto a cross. Regardless of your religion and whether or not you believe it happened, one thing can be rest assured, through all the pain, He died the most peaceful death. Why? Because He let go of any hate, anger or resentment against those who had wronged him.

Many times we hope for peace of mind and happiness, but we fail to identify the everyday factors that determine our mental well-being. A major factor is being unforgiving. Keeping anger and holding grudges is a very common self-destructive behaviour that human beings have adopted. Most times we rather delve in thoughts of how we were wronged and vengeance than just letting it go! We even find it hard forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes and wallow in continuous self-scrutiny. Holding grudges has destroyed many bonds between people and will continue to. Absolutely nothing positive comes out of being resentful. We are adversely affected mentally and it begins to show in our behaviours, learning and attitude towards life. Let it go! Free yourself!

Now letting go of grudges and resentments are not easy at all. We all deserve ‘justice’ to an extent. However we have to train ourselves to let go as soon as possible for the sake of our states of mind. Given a situation were you have little control over, such as an abusive driver cursing you before speeding off, why choose to analyze his or her obscene words and how they wound your pride (you might even consider chasing the car to abuse back) instead of immediately taking your mind off? One could ruin the rest of your day while the other wouldn’t. There are 3 steps that could help get rid of grudges quickly:

1. Accept your feelings: Accept that you are indeed angry and or deeply hurt by what someone has done to you, or in other cases what you’ve done to yourself. Don’t try to mask this feeling by blame or channel it to negative thoughts about the person or yourself. Accept this feeling for what it is, an emotional response to a negative event and nothing more.

2. React mindfully: As we know for every action there is a reaction. More emphasis has also been laid on the reaction than the action. How we react is VERY important in every situation. Mindfully reacting would be to aim to react in the best way for your mental well-being, which is normally to calm a heated situation or more generally focus on an immediate solution. Again, this would require mental awareness and self-control and our basic instincts usually drive us to retaliate. It could make it easier if you mention that he or she upset you or has hurt you, not so you get an apology because not getting one after such expressiveness could anger you further, but just to get it off your chest so you’re not brewing anything negative. The way you react either makes it significantly easier for you to let it go or significantly more difficult. Learn to react wisely.

3. Move on: Never raise the issue again. Try your best to forget it. Naturally the occurrence may flash in your head but do not invite the thought as it would adversely affect your mood. Take your mind off it as soon as possible. Let your mind be used to a state of positivity and you’d find moving on would get easier the more you try.

None of these steps are easy, especially in this fast paced modern world were everyone is so self-interested and getting more and more indifferent towards others. However, continuous practice starting from the moment you finish reading this article would help you to maintain a state of mind that most others would not be able to fathom. All because you’ve made a firm decision to let things go.

Writing down your goals are very important when it comes to the goal setting process. “But, why?”, you may ask.

It is easy to think that having your goals all figured in your mind makes achievement certain. Let’s consider our every new year’s eve ritual- new year resolutions.

Now, try to recall  how many resolutions you made for this year have been actualized at the moment and evaluate the chances of achieving them by the end of the year.

Let’s face the facts!

• 25 percent of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions after one week.

• 60 percent of people abandon them within six months. (The average person makes the same New Year’s resolution ten separate times without success.)

A conclusive research by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor  in  California proved the effectiveness of writing down goals. In this study,  participants who wrote down their goals achieved more than those who did not.

It would be a costly mistake to drift through life not knowing what you wanted out of it, let alone take the necessary steps to achieving it. You can make your life more goal directed and purposeful by committing yourself to your dreams by writing them down and coming up with an action plan to make it a reality.

Here are some reasons for writing goals down:

1. Writing your goals  help your clarify and specify what you really want. Translating thoughts into words make the thoughts more concrete.

2. Writing your goals  makes you committed to fulfilling them

3. Writing serves as a constant reminder of what you intend to achieve and what you can do each day to make it a reality

4. Writing helps you see, evaluate and celebrate your progress which boosts your confidence.

5. Writing keeps you reminded of your goals. The palest ink is better that the sharpest memory

6. Writing your goals help you visualize them, the steps and obstacles on the way to achieving them. With this, better preparation can be made to remove the obstacles.

Now that you may have been convinced of the need to write your goals, examine some of the goals you have thought of. It may relate to your personality,your job,  your career, your family, your finances, etc.

WRITE THEM DOWN!

Of course, writing your goals is not an end, but a means to an end. It is only an initial phase in the goal setting process. Soon we will consider how to write down your goals.. Stay tuned

Have you ever committed your goals to writing?

You not only become your thoughts, you become your written words!

Please share one or two of your goals with me either by commenting or sending an email on drmorayojimoh@mobilehealthconsult.org

Together we can achieve more!